They kept bringing me a wheelchair

When I started traveling every week for speaking work, I had to learn how to use meet and assist at the airport.

It's the service that gets you from the curb to your gate, and from the plane to whoever is picking you up on the other end.

The first few months went the same way almost every time.

I'd walk up to the desk and say:

"Hi, I need a meet and assist. I'm legally blind."

They'd tell me to wait.

A few minutes later someone would come out pushing a wheelchair.

"I can walk. I don't need that."

"It's easier if you sit."

"I'm good, I'll walk."

Back and forth, sometimes for a couple of minutes, until they gave in and said fine, walk with me.

Nobody in that exchange was being rude.

They heard one piece of information and filled in the rest themselves.

Legally blind meant wheelchair, because that's the box the request usually goes in.

Two seconds of asking what I actually needed would have saved everybody the round trip and the argument at the desk.

It never bothered me.

But I've thought about how that same moment lands on someone who is already worn out and already dreading the airport.

For them it's a whole different experience.

The Part I Had to Own

Now here's the part I had to sit with.

I was doing the same thing from my side.

I assumed that saying "legally blind" told them everything they needed to know.

It told them almost nothing.

I handed over a label and expected them to translate it correctly into an action.

So I changed what I say at the desk.

"Hi, I'm legally blind. I need a meet and assist to get to my gate. I can walk fine, I just need someone to show me where to go."

Same request.

No confusion.

The wheelchair stopped showing up.

That lesson runs in both directions.

If someone doesn't know what you need, they can't give it to you.

And if you never ask for it, you won't get it.

Being vague and hoping people fill in the blanks correctly fails quietly, over and over, and it's easy to blame the other person when it does.

Ask Before You Assume

It shows up everywhere once you start looking.

The manager who decides what their team is struggling with instead of asking them.

The employee who assumes leadership already knows they're overwhelmed.

Ask before you assume.

Be specific before you expect people to guess.

Most of the friction between people comes down to two sides operating off information neither one bothered to confirm.

One Quick Thing Before You Go

October is National Disability Employment Awareness Month, and it's coming up fast.

If your company or organization is putting something together, this is exactly the kind of conversation I have with audiences, whether that's a keynote or a working session with a team.

I do both in person and virtually.

If you're thinking about it for October, reply to this email and I'm happy to talk through what would fit.

Aaron