Say It, Then Stop Talking

This week I got on a call with a company I’ve wanted to work with for a long time.

Late in the call, they asked what I charge.

I told them.

One number, no buildup, no apology attached.

Then I stopped talking.

That silence after you say your number is the hardest part of the whole conversation.

It feels endless.

Every instinct says fill it.

Explain yourself.

Offer a smaller number before they’ve even said a word.

I didn’t, and the conversation moved on just fine.

We’re still talking, and I’m glad I let the number stand.

The Silence Feels Longer Than It Is

Here’s what I’ve learned doing this hundreds of times.

The silence feels three times longer to the person who spoke than to the person listening.

They’re usually just thinking it through.

Meanwhile we’re reading rejection into a pause that doesn’t mean anything.

And whatever you say after your number, you’re negotiating against yourself.

They hadn’t objected yet.

Why do their job for them?

This applies to more than fees.

Your number might be a salary ask, or a boundary you need to set with your boss.

Everybody has something they have to say plainly and then not walk back.

The Practice

So here’s the practice.

Know your number before the conversation, and know why it’s fair.

Say it once, the same way every time.

Then let the silence do its work.

If it’s too much, they’ll tell you, and you can decide what to do with real information instead of fear.

What’s the number you’ve been softening?

Aaron